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There’s no easy answer, especially when you’re plagued by misery and the conflicting mindset that accompanies it. Continuing to live in an unhappy marriage vs. divorce? Rushing to hire a divorce lawyer to stop the slow bleed? Where’s the upside in either choice? Knowing that you aren’t the first to struggle with this dilemma probably…
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If you’ve already done it, you can probably look back with sage insight at the seemingly interminable agony of saving your marriage. If you are in the throes of it, you most likely see little but “impossible,” “How?” and “Why?” before you. Overcoming an affair in your marriage – six words that read quickly but…
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It’s so much easier to focus on what the other person is doing (or not doing) in a relationship. Is s/he following the rules? Communicating to your liking? Reading your mind? Being a royal pain-in-the-you-know-what? Did it ever occur to you that learning how to be more self-aware in a relationship could be the key to getting the answers you want?
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You likely won’t know what you want in the early aftermath of infidelity. But annihilating all your options in a furied retaliation will serve nothing but a temporary assuaging of anger.
Here are some key points for how to talk to your spouse about them cheating.
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People love drama. They get their caffeine jolt as much from shock-and-awe as from a dark roast. Tell them you’re not happy in your marriage, and they’ll assumptively ask who’s cheating. More often than not, however, what leads to an unhappy marriage isn’t black or white. It’s buried in shades of gray.
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Overcoming an emotional affair can be as difficult (sometimes more so) than overcoming a physical/sexual affair. And the effects of an emotional affair can cut just as (if not more) deeply.
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Perhaps you’re so in love that you don’t realize the full extent of what you’re promising. Perhaps you just want to say “I do” and get the reception rockin’. And perhaps you think these vows are all about “other-love” and not self-love. In a relationship, after all, it can be easy to lose your footing in the name of love.
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It goes both ways, that communication thing. But what happens when it seems to be one-sided? You’re talking, your spouse isn’t. You’re trying to find a way to move forward, your spouse is holding out. Your dilemma is now how to communicate when your spouse won’t because, apparently, nothing is working.
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