Self Love
You’re a go-getter. Everyone in your world knows that about you. You aced school, championed every sport, snagged the best job from a banquet of delicious offers. You look your best, act your best, even work to perfect your best. But there’s that other part of your life that involves your heart and another person.…
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As redundant as they can be, everyday proverbs stand the test of time for a reason. Their succinct, often poetic composition helps commit them to memory. It’s then up to us to pull them out, contemplate them, and apply them. “No one can love you if you don’t love yourself first,” for example, has a…
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In relationship, you want to maintain individual autonomy, and you also want security. Many people believe you can’t have both, but you can. Dr. Jerry Duberstein has been a couples therapist for over 40 years. He and his wife co-wrote the book, Relationship Transformation: A Practical Guide for Couples Who Want to be Free and…
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You may not even notice that you’re losing your sense of self in a relationship, especially if you’re married. But living into a balance of “me” and “we” is essential for happiness when you’re living as a couple.
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It’s so much easier to focus on what the other person is doing (or not doing) in a relationship. Is s/he following the rules? Communicating to your liking? Reading your mind? Being a royal pain-in-the-you-know-what? Did it ever occur to you that learning how to be more self-aware in a relationship could be the key to getting the answers you want?
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Perhaps you’re so in love that you don’t realize the full extent of what you’re promising. Perhaps you just want to say “I do” and get the reception rockin’. And perhaps you think these vows are all about “other-love” and not self-love. In a relationship, after all, it can be easy to lose your footing in the name of love.
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Relationships. They draw us in, bind us together, dangle possibilities before our star-struck eyes. They also expose us for who we are and can be. Relationships strip us to the nakedness of vulnerability – that iffy space that can both heal and hurt. Do you find yourself or lose yourself? Do you know how to…
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And the two shall become one. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. Put others’ needs before your own. And so the song of self-surrender is sung…while the task of maintaining self-esteem in relationships is left to the self-help DIYers. The irony of relationships, and especially marriage, is that they are so…
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