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Married friends often commonly complain about the loss of sizzle and ensuing staleness and boredom that creeps into their marriage relationship. They are afraid they can’t fix their unhappy marriage relationship after the infatuation ends. Couples reminisce about how they felt when they fell in love, describing fireworks, shaking earth, clammy hands, flushed cheeks, unbearable…Read More
At a dinner party the other night, an attractive 40-something woman asked me what I do. I told her that I work with couples who want more satisfying relationships. “You mean you’re a therapist? I don’t believe in therapy. What’s the point?” she scoffed. “My husband and I were married 20 years ago. We’ve never…Read More
A Marriage Counseling Retreat Can Transform Your Relationship Marriage and Couples Counseling can be successful given the right ingredients: readiness, right timing, and resonance with a marriage counselor (and better yet, a counselor couple) who is experienced, knowledgeable, and highly skilled. Private intensive weekend retreats with the right mix of elements can be even more…Read More
We’re all human. Well, most of us. Invariably, during an intensive couples counseling retreat, Jerry and I exchange not-so-secret smiles of acknowledgment when one partner starts riffing about an ultra-annoying habit of the other. Think crinkling candy wrappers during movies, open-mouth chewing, fidgeting, fiddling, finger-tapping, incessant sighing, yelling from another room, not making eye contact,…Read More
Problems occur in a relationship when the partners have conflicting styles and perspectives about money. Even though money is a leading cause of divorce, couples rarely explore their individual money-selves before tying the knot. Often a money conflict sparks the discussion and sheds light on areas of incompatibility. Handled well (with awareness, understanding, and objectivity) different perspectives are not necessarily unworkable. In fact, many couples create financial plans that account for their individual money needs and wants, and find a complementary balance. The grinch curbs the spendthrift who loosens up the grinch to enjoy a moderate taste of the good life.Read More
What’s in it for me? Tell me…
This question might strike you as the epitome of selfishness. You might just want to chalk it up to the narcissistic culture which surrounds us. What’s in it for mecertainly lacks any sense of poetry, romance or selflessness.
Is there a righteous place in modern relationships for this line of inquiry?
Your relationship is always changing in perceptible and imperceptible ways. Even the most rock solid ones are in a state of flux. Like nature, relationships have seasons and rhythms. But within each “season”, couples build stronger unions or drift apart. Your thoughts, words, attitudes and behaviors dictate the direction . You can choose to move toward more intimacy and closeness or away toward isolation and alienation.Read More
Can a Sexless Relationship Thrive? Richard, a 40 year old client told me recently, “I’ve been married for nine years. My wife, Diane, means everything to me. I love her dearly. She is a great partner and companion. We‘ve created a wonderful life together. I know it may be weird, but we don’t have sex.…Read More