Relationship Transformation: The Geology of Your Relationship

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In high school I took Earth Science as a way of avoiding chemistry. Geology, the study of the solid earth, is the primary Earth science. Geology deals with the composition of earth materials and structures, and studies how the planet has changed over time and continues to change everyday. These changes in the earth’s topography are caused by the forces of erosion and accretion. Simply put, erosion (wind and water) wears the planet down, while accretion adds to the land mass by depositing sediment.

Like the Earth, relationships are in a constant state of flux. The quality of your connection changes from day to day, month to month, and year to year. Some experiences enhance the quality of connection, while others weaken it. A relationship is affected by the world around it and by the inner lives of the people who live within it.

Daily life can have an erosive effect. Like water flowing through rock which eventually creates a canyon, the pressures of work and family life can wear away the joy of love and life. The quality of connection for even the most devoted lovers can be negatively impacted by life’s daily grind — long work weeks, parenting, bill paying, health problems, and caring for elderly parents.

Fortunately, every couple has the opportunity to fortify against erosion. A relationship can be renewed everyday. All a couple needs is the desire, awareness and willingness to make the effort. Wishing it were so won’t make it happen. Action is necessary, both dramatic and commonplace. Tiny actions done consistently can enhance the quality of your connection. To stimulate your thinking I offer a few suggestions. But remember every relationship is different so you are the best judge of which actions will jump-start your love life.  Add some ideas of your own.

  • Go for a walk and hold hands.
  • Surprise your partner with his or her favorite dinner.
  • Be spontaneous.
  • Exchange back rubs.
  • Go out to listen to music. Dance.
  • Establish a date night.
  • Turn off the TV for a week and talk.
  • Take a vacation alone together.
  • Look into the eyes of your partner more often.

With desire, awareness, and consistent effort you can fortify your relationship against the inevitable erosion of time. By tweaking the design and nurturing the structure of your relationship you can keep it solid as rock and warm like the sun.

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