Embrace Calm

Have you been practicing the Reflection Exercise we recommended in our recent post “It’s all about YOU!“? Did you recognize any thoughts or feelings that are holding you back? Ready to take action to make a shift? Today we are bringing you a powerful tool for creating calm and being open to positive change.

With all the turmoil happening in the world around us, each of us can benefit from learning how to create calmness within.  Let’s start learning about your still point, the quiet place inside you where you are free of turmoil, self-judgment, and real-life pressures.

What is a Still Point?

Your still point is the home of your deepest self, a place of perfect tranquility. In the still point you let go of thinking and create spaciousness in your mind. As thoughts intrude, you gently label them “thoughts” and watch them drift away. You move to a calmer, more neutral place. You dwell in inner peace without conflict. In the still point, your anxiety and fear lift.

Going to Your Still Point

Moving to the still point helps you unlock your unconscious and access an expanded awareness of yourself. Your unconscious holds untold treasures that reveal themselves when you are ready. Your unconscious communicates with you nightly when you dream. Through dreams you integrate unconscious material with your conscious mind.

So, are you ready to go to this comforting, gentle space? Before you actually start, read the instructions below.

Still Point Meditation

Sit in a comfortable chair, or if you prefer, lie down (if you can stay awake). Choose a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Arrange your body in a relaxed position. You’ll be sitting or reclining for ten to fifteen minutes.  Take the steps below slowly, giving each one time to sink in*:

Take some slow, deep breaths, as many as you need. Let the breath fill every part of your body as you inhale, and feel a sense of tranquility.

As you exhale, let go of all stress, tension, and pressure. Feel it leaving your body. Blow it all out.

Keep breathing this way until you are completely relaxed. There is nowhere to go and nothing to do. The only thing that matters is this moment, right now.

Give yourself this time to simply be — just you, and no one else. Feel how good it is to let go, even for just a few moments.

If you feel tension in any areas of your body, ask them to let go and relax. Relax your hands, arms, shoulders, neck, jaw, lips, and the space between your eyebrows.

Try to resist any distraction; when thoughts enter in your mind (and they will), return to your breathing, inhale relaxation and peace, and exhale away all tension.

Let your thoughts drift away like autumn leaves floating lightly on a stream.

Feel your heartbeat and your blood circulate, nourishing the cells in your body.

Connect with your deepest self — you are in the still point.

Keep breathing. Stay there as long as you feel comfortable.

*You may find it helpful to record yourself reading these steps aloud. Then you can play the recording while you meditate, so you can remember the steps without having to look at them. 

Benefits of Still-Point Practice

Commit to do this practice a couple of times a day, ideally for fifteen minutes. If you’re short on time, five minutes will do.

To start, simply notice what comes up for you. Use your breath to turn down the volume of your inner radio broadcast. Your thoughts drift away like puffy white clouds sweeping across the sky.

As you practice shifting the focus to you,and spend longer periods of time in your still point, your deeper feelings and beliefs begin to emerge. Daily practice will provide many benefits: You’ll be more relaxed. You’ll notice your thoughts and sensations and the pushes and pulls you feel in your daily interactions. Your powers of observation will get keener. You’ll become more self-confident, more connected with yourself, and experience less anxiety and fear.

You develop a more intimate connection with your inner landscape. Through this process you’ll become better acquainted with your inner relationship fingerprint and discover how it shaped you. As you move through the exercises, you’ll work with strong emotions, some of which are corrosive to relationships. You’ll begin to let go of anger, disappointment, and guilt. You’ll dissolve distorted thinking, puncture myths, and reframe expectations to better fit the person you are today.

As already stated, but well worth repeating, the irony is that when you shift the focus to yourself, your ultimate reward is a deeper, more robust, and lasting connection with your partner. You’ll get the kind of relief that feels like taking off very tight shoes after a five-mile walk.

A word for singles:Don’t worry if you don’t have a partner today. Synchronistically, people attract partners after gaining greater clarity about who they are and what they want. It opens a space for new love.

Ready to start taking the next steps to improve your relationship?

Call us at 603-828-3649
for a free consultation.

Mary Ellen Goggin

Mary Ellen is a highly skilled and intuitive relationship guide. She brings over 35 years’ experience with individuals and businesses as a lawyer, mediator, personal coach and educator. She received her J.D. at University of New Hampshire Law School and a Master’s Degree at Harvard University. Mary Ellen co-authored Relationship Transformation: How to Have Your Cake and Eat It Too with Jerry Duberstein — and they were married by chapter 3. Mary Ellen brings a unique blend of problem-solving, practicality, and warmth to her work. She’s a highly analytic person, with geeky and monkish tendencies. She’s a daredevil skydiver, a voracious seeker of knowledge, and an indulgent grandmother. Her revolution: helping people become the unapologetic rulers of their inner + outer realms. Read more about the retreats