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Things aren’t always what they appear to be. And not everything has a textbook definition or obvious, arrow-pointing signs. Affairs, for example, aren’t necessarily driven by steamy sex and clandestine meetings. They can be masked by a slow-growing emotional connection that perhaps no one saw coming. Uncovering and surviving emotional infidelity, therefore, can be tricky.…
Continue ReadingRelationships, in their ideal, are as much about seeing and loving yourself as they are about seeing and loving your partner. They are also about growing and evolving – as individuals and as a committed entity of its own. But growth, let alone transformation, doesn’t happen without struggle. The impact of anxiety and low self-esteem…
Continue ReadingIf you are asking the question, “Does counseling help unhappy marriages?” chances are your marriage has been unhappy for a while. Couples wait an average of six years before deciding to pursue marriage counseling. This is a LONG time to wait – to keep having the same disagreements, to become more and more disconnected…and to…
Continue ReadingMention “stubborn husband” to anyone familiar with black-and-white TV, and Archie Bunker will probably come to mind. Opinionated, hard-headed, grumpy, sarcastic – stubbornness may have actually been one of his less offensive traits! If you’re a woman wondering how to communicate with your stubborn husband, you might get some helpful tips from Edith. But you’ll…
Continue ReadingWhen it comes to surviving infidelity, questions abound for everyone involved and affected – the betrayed spouse, the cheating spouse, even the affair partner. There is the obvious litany of questions from the angry, betrayed spouse. Questions that erupt from x-rated imaginings of passionate, sexual trysts. Questions about lies convincingly delivered to a trusting spouse.…
Continue ReadingAs redundant as they can be, everyday proverbs stand the test of time for a reason. Their succinct, often poetic composition helps commit them to memory. It’s then up to us to pull them out, contemplate them, and apply them. “No one can love you if you don’t love yourself first,” for example, has a…
Continue ReadingIn relationship, you want to maintain individual autonomy, and you also want security. Many people believe you can’t have both, but you can. Dr. Jerry Duberstein has been a couples therapist for over 40 years. He and his wife co-wrote the book, Relationship Transformation: A Practical Guide for Couples Who Want to be Free and…
Continue ReadingThe dynamics and tone of communication determine almost everything in a relationship. What you say, how/when/why you say it – they can create a haven for safety and growth or a perfect storm for destruction. If you don’t know how to talk with your spouse respectfully, the erosion of your marriage is pretty much a…
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