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Every marriage has its share of “grrr” moments, raised voices, silent treatment, and even the desire to escape. It’s impossible to live intimately with another person – let alone for a lifetime – without wishing that person would change in a bunch of ways. It’s when negativity is left unchecked that things get dangerous. The…
Continue Reading“The whole that is greater than the sum of its parts.” The metaphor is perfect for understanding marriage in its ideal state. But what happens when that larger-than-life entity is reduced to its individual components? Would you know how to save your marriage when you feel hopeless, disconnected, and alone? You may not even recognize…
Continue ReadingWe all have a dark side that is as much a part of who we are as our sunny-side-of-the-street disposition. And denying even the occasional rendezvous with negative emotions like anger can make us as suspect as the expressed emotions themselves. But there is a dark side that is unequivocally dangerous to the health of…
Continue ReadingEvery marriage has its frustrations, its grapplings with anger and dissatisfaction, and even its periods of distancing staleness. But some things are so damaging to a relationship that reconciliation is iffy at best. For this reason, learning how to respond to contempt before it takes root in your marriage is essential. The question “How does…
Continue ReadingThere’s no question that few things will shatter a heart or marriage like infidelity. It is a veritable implosion of everything marriage stands for. If you are in the recent throes of an affair, surviving infidelity in your marriage may seem impossible. And it can feel as impossible for the offender as it does for…
Continue Reading“That’s all the time we have for today. Same time next week?” If you have ever been to counseling, you know the drill. And if you have ever shared the couch with your spouse, you know how coveted every one of those 60 minutes is. But on marriage retreat weekends, the approach to time is…
Continue ReadingEveryone has an unspoken standard regarding fidelity. Regardless of whether couples discuss their beliefs and expectations before tying the knot, they have them. For most couples, the thought of getting over sexual infidelity is unbearable. But surviving emotional infidelity in marriage can be just as painful, sometimes even more so. What is it about an…
Continue ReadingWhen you’re in the throes of a heated argument with your spouse, you’re probably not thinking about the link between an unhappy marriage and health. Getting through the rage of the moment unscathed emotionally is more likely your focus. Even the best marriages experience mulligans here and there — a “more than just a disagreement”…
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