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Everyone hates to be criticized. Yet, for some reason, couples often feel licensed to belittle, berate, badger, and blame each other in ways they’d never do with friends. Criticism in marriage relationships is so common it makes the adage “intimacy breeds contempt” unshakeably rock solid. Why do couples default to critical behavior despite knowing deep…
Continue ReadingEveryone hates to be criticized. Yet, for some reason, couples often feel licensed to belittle, berate, badger, and blame each other in ways they’d never do with friends. Criticism in marriage relationships is so common it makes the adage “intimacy breeds contempt” unshakeably rock solid. Why do couples default to critical behavior despite knowing deep…
Continue ReadingPeople stay in unhappy marriages for a lot of reasons. You may be in one yourself. But when an unhappy marriage leads to infidelity, it’s time to lift the veil of denial and take a good hard look at what’s going on. And what you’ll probably see first is fear. Fear can cause people to…
Continue ReadingOne of you has cheated. Both of you are suffering. Nothing will ever be the same. Is surviving infidelity without counseling possible? Despite the seemingly common occurrence of affairs and the high rate of divorce in the US, couples do survive infidelity. Some even manage to forge a stronger marriage after the fallout. But where and…
Continue ReadingThe shock of discovering an affair is a big deal. Your world turns upside down; you feel shaken to the core. Strong emotions flood you and you might feel overwhelmed and afraid you’ll never feel like yourself again. Be assured that you will get through it, but it’ll take time, a support network, and large doses of self-care to get you through.
Continue ReadingSurviving infidelity can feel impossible, infuriating, exhausting, not-worth-the-effort. And that’s the moment you wake up and remember what’s going on. Surviving infidelity triggers can feel like having coarse salt rubbed into a wound that never gets to heal. For the betrayed spouse, such a Promethean punishment can make the idea of love, trust and happiness…
Continue ReadingA powerful alternative to traditional weekly marriage therapy is a marriage retreat. For couples in crisis, this format can offer an intensive, highly effective start to a sustainable healing journey. Selecting a Therapist Selecting a therapist is an important process for anyone considering psychotherapy. Sometimes the “first impression” of the process can leave a lasting…
Continue ReadingInfidelity changes you. It just does. The betrayed, the betrayer, the marriage — everything morphs. Surviving long-term infidelity, however, is particularly exacting. From admission or discovery to atonement to acceptance, the long-term affair is an inevitable call to action. As if a “moment of indiscretion” or “lapse in judgment” isn’t bad enough, long-term infidelity is…
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