Relationship Transformation: Here’s the skinny on our couples retreats

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Group Retreat for Couples

A deeper love connection is within you…Ready for a deep dive to explore the currents, tides and flow of

your relationship?


Frequently Asked Questions about Our Couples and Marriage Retreat Weekends
What is the program like?
The program is  interactive + comprehensive and follows {more or less depending on the composition of the group} the step by step process laid out in our book Relationship Transformation : Have Your Cake and Eat It Too, A Practical Guide for Couples Who Want to Be Free and Connected{Cruise over to our Resources page for more about our book.} Our weekend retreats are experiential with a focus on guided learning, exercises and discussion rather than lecture.
Where is the retreat located?We offer our retreats in Mendocino, Northern California—a luscious, peaceful place {optimal for magic-making} where couples can luxuriate in a feel good, warm + collaborative focus on their life together.  The magic begins with leaving behind your daily routines, responsibilities and worries.  Pattern interruption starts the work practically the moment you leave your house.

Couples enjoy a bit of free time and get to {re}discover the rich offerings of the Mendocino Coast—art, music, kayaking, beach walking {or lounging, of course}, organic foods fresh from the farm, and…or if you stay at the Stanford Inn {where we give the retreat}, you can wander through the grounds, book a massage {or other spa services}, catch a yoga class {if that’s your thing} or snuggle up with your honey {who you’ll feel more tender toward as our work together unfolds}.

Who benefits from these retreats?  Any couple who wants to…

  •  Start a new relationship with a strong foundation,
  •  Tune-up their relationship {resolve some nagging issues, clear out negative emotion, untangle pesky patterns}
  • Nourish and re-spark the love + sexiness
  • Create a fresh vision for a new stage {baby on the way, kids in school, role-reversal, new career, geographic change,empty-nesters, re-nesters, retired}

Not sure if a group retreat is right for you? Give us a call so we can talk about what’s best. For couples in crisis—dealing with infidelity, on the brink of splitting-up, addiction + other relationship shattering stuff, we may suggest a private, intensive retreat. In private sessions we set civility ground rules, referee and intervene in arguments, and help you process negative emotions {anger, shame, blame, regret, disappointment, hurt}. Once things cool down, we’ll create a strategy to move you ahead and rebuild your relationship. You’ll leave with a concrete plan, customized tools + best of all new hope.

Can you provide a snap shot of the retreat?

We’ll immerse you in our process that begins with guided relaxation and self-focus {in fact, day 1 is all about you.} You’ll explore your own inner dialogue, relationship style, history, and patterns {think detective work}. You’ll discover your optimal freedom-connection quotient, flirt with a fantasy relationship, and identify your own needs and wants. On day 2, the focus turns to the relationship. You’ll dive into reality, measure the gaps between what you want and what you have, negotiate with your partner {who’s gone through the same process} , and {re}envision your relationship.

You’ll leave Mendocino with a new perspective + vision, a feeling of spaciousness + new hope anchored by a written agreement to support your vision and a life-long tool kit. You’ll be on the road to a more satisfying relationship–one capable of navigating the inevitable conflicts and struggles that surface in any relationship with grace and confidence.

I’m not a joiner or a sharer. Will I feel pressured to reveal more about myself than I want?

Couples will work together both in the group and in private. You may spend some time in a group without your partner. The atmosphere is relaxed, low-key and safe.  You can choose to participate or sit quietly on the sidelines and listen. You reveal only what you feel comfortable revealing. You will not be  pressured to share their thoughts, feelings or past. It’s up to you. You choose how deeply you want to go. You know best what’s right for you.

What are the benefits?

We will guide you to:

    • Puncture cultural myths, dissolve distortions, and discard outmoded beliefs.
    • Unblock what holds you back.
    • Gain clarity. Get to know yourself in a different way.
    • Articulate what you need and want, and feel confident about getting it.
    • Re-connect with your partner, reinvigorated with a new sense of purpose.
    •  Create a compelling shared vision that honors your individual uniqueness.
    • Have the opportunity to negotiate an agreement to support your shared vision.
    • Identify Your Inner Relationship Fingerprint™

Who Leads the Retreat?

Meet Jerry Duberstein, Ph.D. and Mary Ellen Goggin.  

Dr. Jerry Duberstein has counseled individuals and couples for 40 years. He received his Ph.D. in Psychology at Saybrook Institute in San Francisco in 1986 and a Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology at Antioch New England University in 1976.  Dr. Duberstein is the author of the book Relationship Transformation: Have Your Cake and Eat It Too. He lives in Northern California with his wife Mary Ellen Goggin.

Mary Ellen Goggin has worked with individuals and businesses for 35 years as a lawyer, mediator, personal coach and educator. She received her J.D. at University of New Hampshire Law School and a Master’s Degree at Harvard University.

Ms .Goggin is the co-author of Relationship Transformation. She lives in Northern California with her husband, Jerry Duberstein.


Price: $699 per couple *- each retreat is limited to 12 couples.

A satisfying, life-long relationship is worth the investment. Nurture yours…

Please call or email us to discuss the options available for you.  707-412-8801. 



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