How do you know if you’re at risk of having an affair? Are there certain signposts? Do you find yourself considering the possibility? There is no single cause that leads people to infidelity. Each person has his or her own psychology and motivations. What drives one individual into a high risk situation will lead another […]
Couples complain frequently our private couples counseling and couples therapy retreat that they’ve grown distant. They find themselves living parallel lives under the same roof. They’re lost in routines and TV and feel no real connection. Lost is the simple joy of being together and even the idea that spending time together might be “fun”. […]
Your relationship is always changing in perceptible and imperceptible ways. Even the most rock solid ones are in a state of flux. Like nature, relationships have seasons and rhythms. But within each “season”, couples build stronger unions or drift apart. Your thoughts, words, attitudes and behaviors dictate the direction . You can choose to move […]
Everyone hates to be criticized. Yet, for some reason, partners feel licensed to criticize one another in ways they would not dream of with friends or colleagues. Does this mean that the old adage “intimacy breeds contempt” is true or at least can shed some light on why this happens? Most of us find that […]
Commitment Phobic or Just Confused by the Words “I Do”? I’m going out on a limb here by stating that the deep down cause of commitment phobia is the historic baggage associated with marriage as an impersonal institution of marriage and NOT lack of love. It’s about fear of loss of self and personal freedom. […]
20 Rules for Fighting Fairly in Relationships Is there more yelling and screaming than you’d like going on in your house ? Do you both swear to stop but somehow it happens anyway? As all members of the military know, when at war armies must follow certain rules of engagement. Likewise, in all sports and […]
Nature evolves in predetermined patterns: day follows night, winter spring, and adulthood follows childhood and infancy. This is also true of romantic relationships. Although each couple is unique, relationships tend to evolve in patterns or stages. Each stage provides a set of challenges that result either in personal growth and expansion or getting stuck in […]
Last night I had a strange dream. I watched my wife speed away on a motorcycle with Johnny Depp. She clung to him so tightly it was obvious they were having an affair. In that instant I felt a combination of jealousy and admiration of her choice in Johnny Depp. Really, who could blame her? […]
Hot, Steamy Sex Is Just a Click Away… Is Porn Ruining Your Relationship? Pornography is not a new issue in therapy. Over the years I’ve helped hundreds of clients understand their curiosity, shame, attraction, repulsion, and obsession with regard to porn. I’ve suggested couples try watching soft-porn together to spice up their sex life. I’ve […]
Peggy came into her session looking distraught. “There must be a screw loose in my head or I’m just not that bright when it comes to men. You would think that I would learn, but no matter how hard I try to select carefully, I end up with guys who want someone to take charge […]
Welcome. We’re excited you are here. Make yourself at home. roam around, and gather some helpful information. We launched our blog to begin a conversation about relationships in the 21st Century. We want to build a community of people who want to be crazy in love with their relationship. We hope that together we can […]
A therapist offers a stepmother advice in dealing with her stepson a troubled teen-aged boy. It’s not what you think.
It is human nature to want to share our experiences with the one we love. In our intensive couples therapy retreats, we teach that a person’s desire to be “known” by their partner is a foundation of healthy intimacy. It is also human nature to be curious about your partner’s relationship past —a key to learn […]
In the thrall of new love’s glow you may have minimized your partner’s expectation for you to have a congenial relationship with your in-laws. In fact, you may not have fully understood that a relationship forms an alliance between two families― each of which has its own cast of quirky, idiosyncratic characters.